


We R Who We R

by daydoodles



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, College, Glitter, Makeup, Other, Partying, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-18 20:19:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8174714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daydoodles/pseuds/daydoodles
Summary: Wow okay, so I reblogged this post and a lovely anon sent me a prompt for PB&J! Unfortunately the song my shuffle landed on was We R Who We R by Kesha, so this nonsense is what I came up with. I'm sorry.(This is an AU in which Kent goes to Samwell and rooms with Jack.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Wow okay, so I reblogged [this post](http://irlkent.tumblr.com/post/150979910619/send-me-a-character-andor-pairing) and a lovely anon sent me a prompt for PB&J! Unfortunately the song my shuffle landed on was [We R Who We R](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXvmSaE0JXA) by Kesha, so this nonsense is what I came up with. I'm sorry.
> 
> (This is an AU in which Kent goes to Samwell and rooms with Jack.)

There's a loud bang as the door hits the wall, and Bitty nearly drops the pie he's taking out of the oven as Kent rushes into the kitchen.

“Hey babe, can I borrow a mixing bowl?” he asks as he plants a soft kiss to Bitty’s hair.

Bitty stares at him. “Honey, what are you talking about?”

“I need a bowl. To mix...things in,” Kent says in an attempt to explain. He's distracted, though, shuffling around the kitchen like he's planning something. He probably is.

Bitty arches an eyebrow, side-eyeing the bag in Kent’s hands from across the counter. “And what exactly do you need to mix?”

“Nothing much, just glitter and hair gel.”

“What about hair gel?” Jack cuts in from the doorway, leaning against the frame like he's scared to see what Kent’s up to.

“Hey, Jay-Z.” He goes back to rummaging through the plastic bag. “I was just asking Queen B here if I could borrow one of his mixing bowls.”

“Kenny, you don't cook.”

Kent laughs and rolls his eyes, but before he can say anything, Bitty’s walking up to Jack with his arms folded like a disappointed mother. “He wants to make glitter hair gel. Please tell him this is a terrible idea, and whatever reason he has is probably terrible too.”

Jack looks confused, but he goes over to peek in Kent’s bag. “Why do you need glitter hair gel, bud?”

“Holster didn't tell you?”

Jack frowns. “Tell us what?”

Kent rolls his eyes, dumping out the contents of his bag onto the counter. “The kegster tonight is Kesha themed, so we have a lot of work to do.”

Jack and Bitty look at the clutter piled onto the counter, which seems to be mostly glow sticks and body glitter, and share a look before Jack says, “What exactly do you mean, work?”

Kent pulls another bag from seemingly nowhere, and Bitty and Jack immediately recognise it as his makeup bag. “Well, once you two get changed -” he shoots a pointed look down to Jack’s atrocious neon yellow shoes, “- we can do your makeup. Then there's the glow sticks, and body glitter, and I have some balloons to put glow sticks in too. Plus I got these really cool -”

“Kenneth Vincent Parson.”

“Bitty, that's not my name and you know it.”

Bitty leans over the counter and squints. “Fine. Listen, Kenjamin, I think this is possibly one of the worst ideas you’ve had, which is saying a lot, and frankly I don't know if I trust you to do my makeup without stabbing me in the eye.”

“Plus,” Jack chimes in, “are you sure it's supposed to be this…involved? I mean, Holster wore a toga to a normal kegster and called it a toga party so I'm not sure we should take him seriously.”

Kent looks scandalised. “He specifically told me that we’re supposed to emulate Kesha to the best of our abilities. And gentlemen, this is my time to shine.”

“He's got you there, Bits. The man loves Kesha as much as you love Beyoncé.”

Bitty frowns ever so slightly, but sighs in defeat. “Fine, but you better coordinate my makeup with my outfit.”

“Always, babe.”

-

Thirty minutes later, and Kent’s still tossing clothes all over their room looking for this one specific pair of fishnet tights that he's been dying to see Bitty in, and so far Jack only has his shirt picked out. It's a crop top, which is a plus for everyone honestly, and Bitty’s booty shorts should probably be illegal; Kent contemplates that he might actually go into cardiac arrest if he lends Bitty the fishnet, but then he finds them and it's too late to go back.

They do make Bitty’s legs to die for, and Kent sort of wants him to crush his skull between his thighs right then and there, but they still haven't figured out what Jack should wear. Eventually, after much collaboration between Bitty and Kent, they decide it would be best for Jack to wear yoga pants to accentuate his ass; they almost hyperventilate when he puts them on because yeah, they were right. Thankfully the yoga pants have a stripe of glitter down the side, so they're still Kesha-approved, and they hug Jack’s curves just right. Kent already has his outfit planned, with a skirt and a sheer top that falls just right on his collarbones, and then they're ready for makeup.

“Jay-Z, you're up first.” Jack looks a bit like a deer in headlights at that, but Kent nudges him onto the bed anyway. He grabs his makeup bag and brushes, and sits cross legged in front of his boyfriend. “Alright babe, what look do you wanna go for?”

“Uh. Natural?” Jack looks confused, like it hadn't occurred to him that there was more than one option.

“No sweetheart, you can't look natural with glitter,” Bitty supplies helpfully from next to Jack.

Kent cocks an eyebrow. “True, but I can go subtle if you want me to?” Jack nods, and Kent gets to work.

He doesn't bother with foundation or powder since it won't last anyway, and it's not like Jack needs contour since his cheekbones were literally sculpted by the gods, so Kent just dives right in with the eyebrows. Jack’s brows are pretty good on their own, so he just shapes them up and fills them in a little, then goes to eyeshadow. He chooses a shimmery champagne, and Jack is surprisingly calm about it all, so Kent layers on some browns with purple undertones to make it more dramatic. When he applies it to the lower lash line Jack fidgets a little, but it looks good once Kent blends it out so it’s fine.

The eyeliner is a lot trickier, just because Jack isn't used to having someone draw on his eyes like that. Bitty holds his hand while Kent lines his eyes with black liquid, gently resting his wrist on Jack’s cheekbone and winging it out flawlessly. It looks amazing, and makes his beautiful blue eyes stand out even more, but Kent can't skimp on glitter (not that he'd want to anyway) so he lines above the black with a white glitter liner. Fake lashes are also a bad idea for a kegster, so he just uses his favourite mascara on Jack’s lashes, and they're so thick and long it’s a little overwhelming. He also manages to convince Jack to wear this gorgeous new berry lipstick he got, and then tops the look off with some glittery highlights. Jack looks incredible, and he’s a little taken aback when Kent shows him his reflection in a handheld mirror.

“Kenny, you're really good at this.” He tilts his head, eyeing the shimmer on his cheekbones. “Where did you learn how to do this?”

“YouTube. Now go check yourself out on the other side of the bed, it’s Queen B’s turn.” He gives Jack a quick peck on the cheek, then Bitty moves over to switch places with Jack. “How okay with a glitter lid are you, baby?”

Bitty thinks for a second, glances at Jack, then nods. “Do whatever you want.”

Kent’s face lights up at that, and he instantly goes to work on Bitty’s eyebrows. There isn't much he needs to do there, just shape them so they look more like actual eyebrows and less like french fries, so then he puts some light foundation on Bitty and gets to work on the crease. As he’s blending out some peachy oranges and browns for depth, Bitty notices his eyeshadow palette.

“Does that say what I think it says?” Bitty asks, incredulous.

Kent looks down distractedly. “Yeah, it's the Sweet Peach palette. Because you're my sweet Georgia peach.” He flashes Bitty the most shit-eating grin he's ever seen.

“I hate you.”

“ _Ma petite pêche douce_ ,” Jack mutters under his breath, which makes Bitty blush.

Kent finishes with the crease, so he starts pressing glitter onto Bitty’s lid. He won't stop squirming, so Kent gets a little in his eye, but thankfully it's over fast and Kent can move on to eyeliner. Bitty’s let Kent do his eyeliner before, and Kent can do a perfect wing in thirty seconds flat, so it's not a big deal. Then there's just mascara and some more glitter in the corner of Bitty’s eyes, and Kent’s ready to move on.

“Guess what's next, babe?” Kent asks, wiggling his eyebrows like the absolute dork he is.

“What?” Bitty looks scared.

“Next, we bake!” Kent laughs as he whips out his concealers, mixing them till they match Bitty’s face.

“Bake what?” Jack cuts in, clearly confused.

“Baking,” Kent explains as he applies the concealer under Bitty’s eyes, “is a technique where you let your powder sit on your face for a few minutes, so it sets your foundation and concealer and makes them look smoother. But it's funny because Bitty is a baker, get it?”

“I get it, Kenny.”

Kent finishes with the powder, and goes on to contour. Bitty has pretty good face structure, so he isn't really doing much besides accentuating Bitty’s features. He dusts the extra powder off, adds a shimmery highlight, and he’s almost done. He applies a quick coat of peach lipstick to Bitty’s lips, and then he's satisfied. He shows Bitty the mirror, and both of his boyfriends gasp.

“Oh honey, I look so good?” He says it like a question, but Kent can tell Bitty likes it.

“Are you going to do yours now?” Jack asks, and Kent nods.

“Can you hold the mirror for me?” Jack takes it from him, positioning it so Kent can see what he's doing.

He does his typical routine for the face makeup; just primer, some light foundation so his freckles still show through, and powder to set it. He decides to go pretty natural on the eyes, since he wants to do a bold lip, so he just deepens his crease a bit and does a nice wing. Kent love false lashes, so of course he wears his favourite pair, and Jack and Bitty are nearly crying from laughter at the faces he pulls when he's concentrating. He puts some silver glitter under his bottom lash line to make it pop, does a quick contour, and a lilac lip to match his skirt.

“Okay, glitter time,” Kent announces, and his boyfriends look slightly alarmed but they do as they’re told nonetheless. “Stand with your arms out so I can get it everywhere.”

They do, and Kent sprays approximately half a bottle of the body glitter onto each of them, running it through their hair before doing himself just as thoroughly. Then he grabs the glow sticks, and after Jack cracks them to make them glow, Kent and Bitty fashion them into two bracelets and a necklace for each of them.

They all stand in front of Kent’s full-length mirror, and Bitty insists they take a selfie, which of course they do. “We look fuckin’ good, boys,” Kent says as he pulls his boyfriends in for a group hug.

“You did a good job, darlin’.”

Jack nods. “Bitty’s right. I think parties are your element.”

Kent rolls his eyes lovingly and punches them both lightly on the arm. “C’mon, let's go show this party who’s boss.”

(Kent is embarrassing, and Bitty is too sexy for his own good, and Jack is actually having a good time despite the fact that someone keeps yelling to turn the music up.)

(The makeup definitely does not last all night, but whether that's because of the dancing, the drinking, or the sloppy sex, they'll never tell.)

**Author's Note:**

> The makeup looks they wore are all an actual thing:
> 
> [Jack](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrOlOmHgMyQ&app=desktop)  
> [Bitty](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TvZzk_zCDmI&app=desktop)  
> [Kenny](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCp0920x0Uk&app=desktop)
> 
> Also, I'm just saying Shitty put glitter in his mustache and Lardo put some in her side shave. Chowder wore a flower crown that matched Farmer's rave bra. Holster chalked his hair lavender, and Ransom was spotted later that night with mysterious purple splotches on his face and hair. Nursey wore heels.


End file.
